You
never think it will happen to you. It was just a Friday night at a rock show.
the atmosphere was so happy and everyone was dancing and smiling. and then when
the men came through the front entrance and began the shooting, we naively
believed it was all part of the show. It wasn't just a terrorist attack, it was
a massacre. Dozens of people were shot right in front of me. Pools of blood
filled the floor. Cries of grown men who held their girlfriends dead bodies
pierced the small music venue.
Futures demolished families heartbroken. in an
instant. Shocked and alone, I pretended to be dead for over an hour, lying
among people who could see their loved ones motionless.. Holding my breath,
trying to not move, not cry - not giving those men the fear they longed to see.
I was incredibly lucky to survive. But so many didn't, the people who had been
there for the exact same reasons as I - to have a fun Friday night were
innocent. This world is cruel. And acts like this are supposed to highlight the
depravity of humans and the images of those men circling us like vultures will
haunt me for the rest of my life. The way they meticoulsy aimed at shot people
around the standing area i was in the centre of without any consideration for
human life. It didn't feel real. i expected any moment for someone to say it
was just a nightmare. But being a survivor of this horror lets me able to shed
light on the heroes. To the man who reassured me and put his life on line to
try and cover my brain whilst i whimpered, to the couple whose last words of
love kept me believing the good in the world, to the police who succeeded in
rescuing hundreds of people, to the complete strangers who picked me up from
the road and consoled me during the 45 minutes I truly believed the boy i loved
was dead, to the injured man who i had mistaken for him and then on my
recognition that he was not Amaury, held me and told me everything was going to
be fine despite being all alone and scared himself, to the woman who opened her
doors to the survivors, to the friend who offered me shelter and went out to buy
new clothes so i wouldn’t have to wear this blood stained top, to all of you
who have sent caring messages of support - you make me believe this world has
the potential to be better. to never let this happen again. but most of this is
to the 80 people who were murdered inside that venue, who weren't as lucky, who
didn’t get to wake up today and to all the pain that their friends and families
are going through. I am so sorry. There's nothing that will fix the pain. I
feel privileged to be there for their last breaths. And truly believing that I
would join them, I promise that their last thoughts were not on the animals who
caused all this. It was thinking of the people they loved. As i lay down in the
blood of strangers and waiting for my bullet to end my mere 22 years, I
envisioned every face that I have ever loved and whispered I love you. Over and
over again. Reflecting on the highlights of my life. Wishing that those i love
knew just how much, wishing that they knew that no matter what happened to me,
to keep believing in the good in people. to not let those men win. Last night,
the lives of many were forever changed and it is up to us to be better people.
to live lives that the innocent victims of this tragedy dreamt about but sadly
will now never be able to fulfill. RIP angels. You will never be forgotten
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